mortalcoil | Personal Comm

[he nods as he falls in step with her, and there's no unspoken argument in the answer, this time. he knows it's true. and there's something about it that is almost reassuring in the wake of missing the only person who had previously checked in to make sure he was taking care of himself.

normally he's better about these things, but... yeah. lately, cleaning himself up has not been the first thought on his mind.]

[It's easy to bypass those things when you're in the place he is. She knows Zhas meant a lot to him. She understands attachment. What's harder to understand is this kind of dependency, the kind of loss that spins you around and leaves you adrift and drowning in loneliness. She's always fought hard against that kind of need. Always just alone enough to stay safe.

He's a good example of why.]

Should maybe do that, after we get some food. If you can even move. You haven't let anyone take a look at those ribs, have you?

[The way he moves makes it obvious, if you know what you're looking for.]

[he is an excellent example of why. he's young, smart, a dangerous kind of fearless... but unplug him from that one thing that he has all of himself plugged into, and he absolutely withers. all that isolation he surrounds himself with, the distance that he keeps between himself and the rest of the human race, is because he has the rest of it focused on one very specific place. and now it's gone.

between the life that he once had, and then the one that Zhas transplanted him into, Coil has never truly been alone. he doesn't know how to be left with only himself.

opening up to the world is obviously not his first reaction. he shakes his head in answer, and then points to himself.

he's the 'doctor' on this ship. he's watching it himself and he's sure of his own judgement--however bad of an idea that might be. it's fine.]

[There's differences in kinds of isolation. She's chosen a careful distance for herself, layers upon layers of walls. Some people she lets within the first one. Acquaintances, rivals, people she enjoys having around even if she doesn't trust them. Others make it past the second wall. Co-workers, partners, long-time associates with stakes in her well-being. The third wall is the highest, the thickest, and the number of people who are even close to it, let alone inside it, she can count on one hand. It's a better way of being, a safer way. His way, having only one wall? Means the second someone breaches it, you're defenseless.

It's one thing to be alone. It's another entirely to be lonely. And Coil...even money on which one Coil is.

She doesn't falter in her steps as he answers her, only giving him a look that he can definitely feel, even if he chooses not to see.]

You're hardly an unbiased source. You should get a second opinion. What's it cost you, half an hour of your time?

[yeah, keeping her on his blind side doesn't come close to sparing him from that look. he knows it's there. Zhas was good at those too.

but he keeps up his stubborn little wall and only shrugs. because what might be a simple half hour of time to most people, is something heavy with extra socialization and language barriers for him. when it's only his comfort (and maybe some health) at stake, it's not worth the trouble.]

[Her voice, when she continues on, is fairly light. Almost casual, really.]

Of course, I could always just knock you unconscious and drag you off for Doctor Crusher to look over, so I could get an opinion I actually believe.

[This...might actually be concern on her part. However oddly shown.]

Personal Comm | IC Inbox (DF)

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FINALLY

and then I forgot my psls for weeks